Before I knew I had cancer I remember thinking, except for this nagging constant pain I
have, I’m so glad I’m healthier than the people I work with. I would see them having to sit all the time,
or when they walk they limp, or I would hear them complaining about
all their health issues. I remember I
thought I’m so glad I’m healthy, if I just didn’t have this pain in my neck and
back. I decided because I’d been in an
accident the previous year to go back to the Dr. to get it checked.
When I did, he said he wanted me to go see an orthopedic
Doctor. The Orthopedic Dr. thought it
was just age and accident related injuries.
He wasn’t going to do anything else except put me on some pain meds. I told him that I really thought something
else was wrong because I’m not one to go to the Dr., ever. He looked at me because I was being extremely
dramatic in throwing my arms on the table and raising my voice trying to get
him to listen to me and he said, “ok, we’ll do an MRI of your neck.”
A week later I got an MRI.
The next day his office called and made an appointment for me to come in
the following day. They wouldn’t tell me
anything over the phone.
At my appointment a different Dr. came in to talk to
me. I remember thinking, “something’s
wrong.” He told me they found a tumor on
the upper part of my spine, my neck where I’d been having so much pain. He told me it might not be anything but he
thought it also might be cancer. He told
me his son had cancer. I think he said
his son was around 15. He told me he’d
gotten treatment and he was fine now but it was really scary at first until
they understood what it was and what treatment he would go through.
To make a long story short - that started the many tests and
biopsies to figure out exactly what I had and how to treat it. I will always be under some type of treatment
and there’s no treatment that can make it go away. I’m grateful that I’m here and that I feel up
to doing things with planning, preparation, resting, and medications. I believe that I’ve done as well as I have
because so many people have prayed for me since day one and I can never express
how grateful I am for that.
I am also grateful for my family Dr. sending me to the
doctors she would go to if she were in my situation. My doctors have chosen treatment methods that
some have not approved of, no chemo, but quality of life is more important to
me. Since this has no treatment that can
cure it, I don’t believe in anymore suffering than necessary.
Watching this video last night really brought back to me
what I’ve gone through and still am going through. Sometimes I like to not think about cancer
for a day, or week when possible. Doing
things like the “quick draw” Saturday where people don’t know I have cancer and
I’m not looked at differently helps me feel almost normal. Except when I stood up during painting and
almost fell down – but no one saw that, thankfully.
Anyway, watch the video and understand what people with this
go through.
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