I don’t know why I have had such a hard time trying to write and share the following story.  I think being online we can control how we come across.  One of my friends said that we only put things online that make us look good and happy and like we’re perfect – but we’re not – I am not.

Years ago our pastor had a vision of buying the property surrounding the church and starting a pregnancy center on one part of the land.

He presented the idea of buying the land to the church and we voted to purchase the property. 

After we purchased the property he asked different members of the church to be on a “Steering Committee” to learn everything it would take to build and run a pregnancy center.  Chuck and I were asked to be on the committee and were very honored to do so.  All of the members, on the committee, spent months gathering the information and putting it together to make a presentation to the church.

On the day we did the presentation the church was pretty full - if I remember correctly.  After we shared the information people were given the opportunity to say what they thought about it.  The church seemed pretty divided on the issue.  Some people even seemed angry about it.  Instead of voting whether we would start work on building a center our Pastor asked us to individually pray and seek God for 40 days.  He asked us not to talk about it with anyone.  He asked us to pray and seek God and then come back together and share what we learned.

During the 40 days I had jury duty.  That may not seem like it had anything to do with anything but it did.  It was a murder trial.  The man on trial was at the scene of the crime.  He went to the apartment with 3 other men.  He had a gun and tried to fire it but it misfired.  He knew what was happening, what the other men had planned, and he supplied the guns.  The girl that was killed was hit by a stray bullet in the head and killed instantly.  During the trial the judge read something called the principal law to us before we were to deliberate.  I will tell you what it says in a minute

After the 40 days were over we met back at church and our Pastor asked what we had learned.  A lot of people got up and spoke and said what they thought.  I knew I was supposed to share what I had learned but I have this fear of public speaking.  This fear is not a little fear.  It is a huge fear.  I freeze up, can’t speak, feel like I will pass out and get an extremely upset stomach.  If I do manage to get any words out my voice shakes uncontrollably.  So I was a coward and did not share what I had learned.

This is what I learned at the trial and should have shared:
Man has a law called the Principal Law and it states, if a person knows a crime is going to be committed and does nothing to stop the crime, that person is just as guilty as the person who commits the crime and can be held accountable to the full extent of the law. 

Our church was trying to start a pregnancy center that would help women who found themselves in an unexpected pregnancy.  Women who were confused and scared would be given all the information they needed to make a truly informed choice.  Hopefully they would choose life, not death.  If we, as a church, did not do something to try to stop abortions and try to help these women– we were just as guilty as those who do abortions and tell the lie that there is no other choice. 

There’s a verse James 4:17 that shows God’s viewpoint:
Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

Basically it’s the same as the law that man has made – the Principal Law. 

Even though I did not have the courage to speak, our church did vote.  Thankfully, they voted for the center.  I have struggled with feeling like I could never be forgiven for not speaking that day – but that’s not true.  God has forgiven me but I have to believe it and let it go.  Maybe you can learn from my mistake.  If you know God has shown you something and He wants you to do, speak, or share it – do it, or speak it – do not be afraid.  You do not want to have regrets that haunt you for the rest of your life.

Here is a link to the Pregnancy Center:

Isn’t God amazing and awesome!

1 comment:

Silvia Christine Miller said...

Thank you for sharing this story. God has a unique purpose for you and I know that one day you will stand in public with a strong voice and clear message. You will/do make a impact on others!
Thank you for sharing.