A lot of things going on right now.  Different family members having health issues.  It has been a struggle to trust in all this.  I really am angry about the fact that some of the health care "guidelines" have kicked in and one of my family members can't even get an MRI because of it.  What good is healthcare and insurance if they don't allow you to get necessary tests done?  Without the tests there is no treatment.  I guess that's one way to save on healthcare.  It SUCKS!

Reading today;
Struggling with this right now. 
From Unstoppable by NickVujicic:
Surrendering is about giving up the illusion that you are in the driver’s seat.  Yes, you do decide how you act, when you act, and the attitude you present to the world.  Yes, you should dream and have goals for your life based on your passion.  But it is an illusion to think you can determine what happens to you and around you.  So all we really can do is prepare ourselves to manage the worst and do our best.  That means developing our gifts to their full potential so that whatever happens, we have faith in our ability to persevere and plunge ahead.

That driver’s seat thing is actually a literal for me.  My job the past 8 years was some type of driver; retired center, church bus, school bus and tractor trailer.  Now, I barely drive at all and I miss it.
But, it wasn’t who I am.  People sometimes lose themselves in their jobs and it becomes who they are. 
If that is the case for 14 years prior to that I home schooled our girls.  During that 14 years I taught private art lessons for home school children and during 2004 taught at Christian Victory Academy.  I sold portraits, or painted woodcrafts, worked at Sea World and Busch Gardens as a portrait artist.  I did whatever I could to earn extra money and usually with art.  If I go back through my past work record, teaching and being an artist, are what I’ve done the most.  I think it’s time to let go of the “driver” thing and grab onto the “artist” and maybe “teacher” thing.
Yes, you should have dreams and goals based on your passions and yes, it is an illusion to think you can determine what happens to you and around you. 
I am preparing myself to manage the worst and do my best.  I will work on practice, practice, practice, to get better with my art, writing, and anything else I feel God leading me to do.  I don’t want to put the word “speaking” out there but I feel it is an eventuality (is that a word?) and my biggest fear besides spiders.
And he writes:
The need to control everything around us can actually be a handicap.  When we spend all our time trying to remain in control, we risk missing the blessings that may come by putting faith into action and letting go. 

I wish to put faith into action and let go……..and see what happens.  Even with the health issues.....

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