waterwalker

If I were still working, yesterday would have been the last day of school and today would be the beginning of my summer vacation.  I can’t believe it has been 2 years since I last worked.

Today, I started the day as if it were my first day of vacation, sitting outside, reading, planning, journaling, enjoying the birds and the dogs ‘till they started to drive me nuts barking.  Unfortunately, I was without the coffee I would have normally enjoyed.  I haven’t been able to drink any for a week but even then it’s down to less than a couple of cups per week.  I cut back when I found out I had cancer.  It’s bad for us cysty breasted girls.

And Chuck says that’s pronounced “sexy”. 

I sat outside thinking about when I worked and how I always looked forward to my “off times”.  I think that was a huge reason I liked my job, summers off, 2 weeks at Christmas, sometimes a week at Thanksgiving.  I do miss my kids though.  I saw two of them a month back and didn’t recognize them at first.  The last time I saw them they were 2^nd grade and K5.  The change in them made me feel old.  They didn’t recognize me either.  I no longer have dark hair and wasn’t wearing sunglasses.  Even when I was working kids wouldn’t recognize me off work.  They only saw me sitting down and with sunglasses on.  I would have to put them on and say, “Now do you know who I am?” and they would.

I’m off track, thinking about not working and what I’ve gone through, starting to feel sorry for myself but remembering how much I enjoyed my first day of summer vacation and how hopeful it made me feel to think about all the things I would be able to do and get done.  And, again, sorrow begins to creep in because of all I can’t do and not having a car and being able to go when I want to – finally to the true subject of this writing;

I read from “In a pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day”

  The more problems you have the more potential you have

 maybe God is “remodeling” you

  maybe the problems you thought you’d never overcome will turn into a sacred opportunity

  God wants us to learn to see bad experiences through the good we have gained from them.

 God recycles our pain for someone else’s gain

  the circumstances you complain about become chains that imprison you and                 

             worship is the way out.

Then I went on to read from Unstoppable;

·      suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character 

    and character produces hope;  

    HOPE has been my word since finding out I had cancer.

·      We are afflicted so we can comfort others as God has comforted us

             Even though bad things happen God still loves you!

And from the book 1000 Gifts;

It is suffering that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace.

And grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering –

overcomes that suffering.

Interesting that all that I’m reading is about persevering, suffering,

 illnesses, and problems being good things not bad.

Finally, I read from Ephesians my prayer for my family, myself, friends, and whoever reads this;

…the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.

Ephesians 1:17-18