I'm reading this book that has some information I've decided to share because I think lots of people have this problem. It will take more than one post so it will be kind of spread out over time.
Have the courage to be different
If you are going to overcome insecurity and be the person you are called to be in Christ, you must have the courage to be different.
Even though each of us is different, we still try to be like each other. That is what causes unhappiness.
Don't be like everyone else
Now am I trying to win the favor of men, or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bond servant of Christ (the Messiah). Galatians 1:10
If you are going to be a success at being completely and fully you, you are going to have to take a chance on not being like everyone else. Why not ask yourself the question Paul asked? Are you trying to win the favor of men, or of God?
Men-pleasers or God-pleasers?
Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. Ephesians 6:6
Becoming men-pleasers is one of the easiest things we can do but one that can ultimately make us very unhappy. When we begin pleasing other people we begin to hear comments that make us feel good about ourselves. That is ok as long as we do not derive our sense of worth from it. As believers, our sense of worth has to be rooted and grounded not in the opinions of men but in the love of God.
We are worth something because God sent His only Son to die for us. We are worth something because God loves us, not because of what everybody else thinks about us or says about us.
We become "men-pleasers" when we no longer do the things we want to do, but what everybody else wants us to do because we think that will gain us acceptance and approval. That was not the attitude the apostle Paul had or advocated.