I wanted to go to an art show today but things don't always

turn out like you plan.  My big toe started hurting Monday

and by Tuesday I realized it was infected.  Went to the Dr. Thursday

and he removed the nail.  It didn't hurt till the shot wore off

and then ouch.  I've had to keep it up the last couple of days.

My whole foot is swollen.  Luckily I had to go to my oncologist

the same day I went to the foot doctor and she put me on

an antibiotic.  I don't know why the other doctor did not.

I don't think he understood I have active cancer and 

my immune system is not what it should be.

  

I found out my oncologist is retiring next month.  When

she told me I started crying and we hugged and I couldn't stop

crying.  She told me not to give up.  I wish she weren't retiring.

I'm so upset about that.  When I was making my next appointment

with Tran, her assistant, she told me at least

 I was lucky enough to find out in person.

She said she was going to have to tell a lot of her patients over 

the phone and was not looking forward to it.  I don't know if

they are as attached to her as I am but I'm sure they won't be happy.

She is the best - Dr. Lukman, again things don't always turn out

like you plan.

I caught him in the action of jumping.  He likes to  jump all over the yard.

Oliver, Jesse and Jason's dog #4

Minion, Corey's dog that loves her sooooo very much!

the female cardinal loves the birdbath

A new bird, gray catbird

I think I like birds

 Chuck put a bird feeder on the window in my art room.

Today is the first day I've seen any birds.  It's been a couple

of weeks since he put it there.

 I don't know if they've been afraid of 

how close it is to the house.

She kept watching me

 So did he

I don’t know why I have had such a hard time trying to write and share the following story.  I think being online we can control how we come across.  One of my friends said that we only put things online that make us look good and happy and like we’re perfect – but we’re not – I am not.

Years ago our pastor had a vision of buying the property surrounding the church and starting a pregnancy center on one part of the land.

He presented the idea of buying the land to the church and we voted to purchase the property. 

After we purchased the property he asked different members of the church to be on a “Steering Committee” to learn everything it would take to build and run a pregnancy center.  Chuck and I were asked to be on the committee and were very honored to do so.  All of the members, on the committee, spent months gathering the information and putting it together to make a presentation to the church.

On the day we did the presentation the church was pretty full - if I remember correctly.  After we shared the information people were given the opportunity to say what they thought about it.  The church seemed pretty divided on the issue.  Some people even seemed angry about it.  Instead of voting whether we would start work on building a center our Pastor asked us to individually pray and seek God for 40 days.  He asked us not to talk about it with anyone.  He asked us to pray and seek God and then come back together and share what we learned.

During the 40 days I had jury duty.  That may not seem like it had anything to do with anything but it did.  It was a murder trial.  The man on trial was at the scene of the crime.  He went to the apartment with 3 other men.  He had a gun and tried to fire it but it misfired.  He knew what was happening, what the other men had planned, and he supplied the guns.  The girl that was killed was hit by a stray bullet in the head and killed instantly.  During the trial the judge read something called the principal law to us before we were to deliberate.  I will tell you what it says in a minute

After the 40 days were over we met back at church and our Pastor asked what we had learned.  A lot of people got up and spoke and said what they thought.  I knew I was supposed to share what I had learned but I have this fear of public speaking.  This fear is not a little fear.  It is a huge fear.  I freeze up, can’t speak, feel like I will pass out and get an extremely upset stomach.  If I do manage to get any words out my voice shakes uncontrollably.  So I was a coward and did not share what I had learned.

This is what I learned at the trial and should have shared:

Man has a law called the Principal Law and it states, if a person knows a crime is going to be committed and does nothing to stop the crime, that person is just as guilty as the person who commits the crime and can be held accountable to the full extent of the law. 

Our church was trying to start a pregnancy center that would help women who found themselves in an unexpected pregnancy.  Women who were confused and scared would be given all the information they needed to make a truly informed choice.  Hopefully they would choose life, not death.  If we, as a church, did not do something to try to stop abortions and try to help these women– we were just as guilty as those who do abortions and tell the lie that there is no other choice. 

There’s a verse James 4:17 that shows God’s viewpoint:

Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

Basically it’s the same as the law that man has made – the Principal Law. 

Even though I did not have the courage to speak, our church did vote.  Thankfully, they voted for the center.  I have struggled with feeling like I could never be forgiven for not speaking that day – but that’s not true.  God has forgiven me but I have to believe it and let it go.  Maybe you can learn from my mistake.  If you know God has shown you something and He wants you to do, speak, or share it – do it, or speak it – do not be afraid.  You do not want to have regrets that haunt you for the rest of your life.

Here is a link to the Pregnancy Center:

http://www.thriveorlando.org

Isn’t God amazing and awesome!

2 new birds visited in the last couple of days

Indigo Bunting

this is as clear as I could get

and this guy. I can't figure out if he's an American goldfinch
or an orchard oriole

Chuck took both of these.  He doesn't like my camera but I was
asleep when he visited.

This little carolina wren was playing on the fence.  He's so tiny.

Angels and truck driving

Today I was talking to my sister-n-law and she brought up this story I shared with her years ago.
I thought I had put it on my blog before - and I did - but I feel like I'm supposed to share it again so here it is.

Some of you know I drove a tractor trailer with my husband for a little while.  We were team drivers.  When we started, I was the day driver and he had the night shift but we ended up switching.  I preferred the night, how it was less crowded, cooler and quiet.  But I didn’t like how you couldn’t find a parking place at night and would always have to park really far from the bathrooms.  Which brings me to this story.

We were in LA.  I think it was actually the first time we were there.  We were at a company owned operating center which is fenced and locked and only drivers who worked for them were allowed to park and use the showers, restaurant, laundry and fueling station.  It was about 2:30 in the morning and I needed to go to the bathroom.  Chuck was exhausted from the drive and did not want to go with me.  I was very angry about this because of the time and having to walk to the facilities by myself.  In my anger I did not think about what I was doing.  We were trained to never walk between trailers in the dark, or alone, and to always go the most lighted route for safety.   I was muttering under my breath, walking in the dark between trailers and finally got onto the parking area that was flooded in light.  Walking toward the building I could see the fuel pumps and this Asian man dressed in red and green, rather bright.  He was stepping back and forth in place watching me, like he was waiting for me. 

When I got close enough he said, “You know you shouldn’t be walking between the

trailers in the dark like that.  I know the company’s picky about who can work for them but you just never know if someone might be a little crazy.  You need to stay out of the dark and stay in the light.  I care about you and I never want to see you get hurt.  Remember, stay out of the dark and stay in the light.”  

I was so shocked I just said ok and turned to walk up to the building.  I turned back around to say, “thank you”.  But, there was no one there.  And there was nowhere to go that I would not have seen him.  It was a large open area and in the second it took me to turn around it would have been impossible for him to have gone out of sight.   On my way back to the truck I made sure to stay in the light and anytime I had to be out at night after that I always remembered him and what he said. 

Someone asked once if I believe in angels….

We celebrated Easter Sunday and Chuck's birthday together this year at our house.  It was a nice day but I've gotten really bad about not
taking pictures.  These are the few that were in focus.  I have more with other family members but they're so blurry I won't put them on here.

Jesse

 

Corey and Minion who loves his Mommy so very much.

Monday after Easter - blue jays building a nest

He kept watching me getting closer and closer

   

My favorite

Yesterday was a good day working with two other friends one a writer the other a writer/artist.  It's always good to get together and work on things like websites and editing/critiquing work.  It helps to inspire, learn and improve.  It counts as work too.  We helped Debbie set up her new blog you can visit her here: The Poet on Blueberry Street

It looks really nice!  She did a great job!

It made me wonder should I start a new blog or just update this one for now.  I decided to just update this one after seeing how much work and time it took yesterday for her to get hers going. I also made goals to write more often on my blog.  We shall see how it goes.